I was thinking that all the stress and aggravation of things was in the process of disappearing. I was quite wrong on that note. I seriously feel like I might have been just slightly delusional when I was thinking that. As it turns out, all the stress just shifts into a different spot, kind of like osmosis, from high concentrations of stress to lower ones.
The stress of buying a house is now gone. Instead it is stress of looking for an apartment. Our target moving date is in July or August so there is still sometime to look. However, I know one of the persons getting ready to take an already empty room at the current house is someone who I can only take for limited periods of time. Don't get me wrong, this person is a very nice and caring person but just way too hyper for me. So the unsaid goal is to be out before this person moves in. The other stress is finding a place that is not a slum, affordable, and in the area we are currently in. I know I have only been searching two days but there have not been a lot of options in the two days I have been looking. Hopefully, this stress will pass quickly.
The main stress on my mind right now is twofold. School and job hunting. School because I am trying to juggle my preceptor's schedule, my school schedule, getting my hours in and forcing myself to stay at work to get enough cash to cover random expenses. Not only that but graduation is going to be a battle. There us just so much stupid family politics dealing with invitations that I would just rather not go. There are people that I would LOVE to invite to my graduation due to their support and the fact that they are proud of my accomplishment but inviting these people and not certain family member would start an amazing uproar. Said relatives were not supportive of me nor did they believe in my ability or that I should have even gone to school. My question is, why should be people who did not support me, my decisions, or my accomplishments be there to celebrate? To me, they shouldn't be but because they are not there the people who did support me can not be there. I know that does not make sense but what will make this whole thing make sense is that those who are not invited will hear about the others being invited in passing conversation. This would mostly happen because the invited people would assume that the family members would be invited. This would just cause gossip and unwanted conflict that I want to avoid.
The other scenario that I am fearing is the uninvited guest being invited by a parent (and showing up) because this parent feels that the family member should be there. I have actually debated not sending my parents an invitation and just telling them all the details a few days before so that this can be avoided. As I am typing this I know that I sound like some paranoid and possibly delusional person, but would be extremely upset if this person showed up at my graduation, especially unannounced.
So far there is nothing on the job front. So many applications and no call backs. It really is starting to make me freak out and the calming don't worry bull that everyone is spewing does nothing for me. I also hate that they basically did a bate and switch on us. They tell us there is this whole big job pool and then every single week the job pool is smaller and smaller and smaller so that we are being advised to take the first job offer we get no matter how miserable you will be for the year you must stay there. I feel like they think that we are all just fresh out of high school or college with no experience what-so-ever and will eat this "advice" up like candy. After being in some of the units and specialty areas I have been in, I don't know how easy it will be for me to go back.
Tomorrow we are going to see a wedding venue. We are hoping that it is what we want/need. I want to set a date and start planning. I want to know where we are doing this so I can start to get all the info I need and start getting everything set up so that I can do all the research I need to make this all sooo much easier.
Some day the stress will go away or just become less intense.
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