I think that everyone has a time when they feel like they do not have the chance to stop moving for even a split second. That is how I have felt for the past 4 weeks! I have six more weeks left at school and it seems to be flying by and dragging at the same time. On top of that the moving situation is getting clearer and hairier all in the same instant and then wedding just seems to be steam rolling along just fine.
This clinical is showing me what I really want but I can't help think, am I really getting the full experience? How much am I missing spending the majority of my days in the fast track area and only having one 20 minuet experience in the Trauma Bay? Spending time in a pod assignment, only for two hours for a few times in the past few weeks. Don't get me wrong, I am learning things but I feel like there is so much that I could be seeing and I am not. This was also pointed out to me by a fellow classmate who works in this clinical department. I have started to wonder in my head if this will prepare me for being a nurse on my own. Hearing, "It is too busy for me to let you do anything. Checking your charting and going back through everything just takes too much time," is a phrase that I am hearing a lot lately and I have kind of come to expect it. I a hoping that with this midterm evaluation coming up that I can see what my preceptor actually thinks of me and where I stand in this whole situation.
The job hunt is still as barren as the Arctic Circle. Not a single phone call for an interview or job offer has been extended. I am starting to wonder how we are going to be able to afford to move and plan this wedding if I am unemployed. I am also trying to figure out how I am supposed to afford to take my boards when it costs more than three paychecks combined to register...Yeah... I have started to look for options outside of the nursing realm. Yes, I know this is not the best way to go but living off of a part time minimum wage job is not going to allow me to sleep with a roof over my head and shoes on my feet let alone food in my mouth. I hope that this is not the universe telling me that I made a huge mistake but I don't feel like I did. I think if it were a mistake that clinical would not eventually make waking up at 5am seem not so bad. (Okay, 5am is always bad but once I get going on the floor I realize why I am there.)
Apartments. I have not looked for an apartment since 2006. Nothing has changes. I forgot that hunting with another person makes it more difficult to get to a place where you can both stand to live. I understand one place is two hundred dollars cheaper than the other apartment that we saw but I would not pay to live in a place that looked that grungy. It could just be that the person just woke up and that they hadn't really cleaned up but there was very little storage, the ceilings were sloped in some places, and it was just sooo dark. I felt like I was in some sort of fort cave thing with carpet that matched the earth, and no it was not green. I am okay with a one bedroom apartment but I am not okay with the one bedroom frat house apartment just so that we save money and are motivated to find a house sooner rather than later.
The wedding planning is so far going swimmingly! Next week we are meeting with a potential photographer and we are also waiting to hear back from a potential DJ. Along with that, the whole wedding party has almost been chosen. I have one more spot to fill and he is waiting to hear from one person to see if he had one or two spots to fill. We agree on the degree of fanciness (AKA very little) and I think that we are in agreement of colors as well. I am not completely sure about the colors but I think I know what they are going to be. I am just having such a hard time with seeing a color pattern that I want. I know that the venue will be white lines so I really want the colors that we choose to pop out on the white. As usual, he does not care what color we pick but he has been very proactive with getting the photographer and the DJ set up. We also have the room block set up and ready to go. I think we are moving right along. I hope that simple stays fantastic!
No comments:
Post a Comment